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jarandhel: (Default)
Saturday, March 10th, 2007 01:50 pm
Thoughts inspired by a discussion in my friend [livejournal.com profile] rialian's livejournal.

A few years back, Rialian gave a workshop at Thresholds on working with Faery Cairns. A lot of things were dealt with in that workshop, but the biggest thing that I took away from it was the idea of altars representing a relationship. The idea that one needs to build a relationship with the beings/energies/environments one works with, and that what one puts into an altar represents the kind of relationship you wish to have with those things. That idea has greatly influenced my own path, in the years since then.

It's made me think about all of the things we have relationships with, and what we put into those relationships, as well as what we hope to get back out of them in return. Not just in a metaphysical sense, but in a very real sense as well. The communities of which we are part, the gathers which we attend, even our friendships. What do we contribute to them? What kind of relationship are we seeking with them? Do our contributions reflect that?

Sometimes people seem to think they have nothing to contribute. That they have nothing to add to a community, or a gather. They compare themselves to others and find themselves lacking, for whatever reason. I wonder if it's a problem of scale... would these same people, when asked what they contribute to their relationships, their friendships, think they have nothing to add, nothing to give? Or is it a problem of self-worth, and not being able to see themselves in that positive of a light at all?

I feel for them, but I still think that it is important for people to step back and think about relationships in this manner, in whatever context (community, gather, personal, mundane or metaphysical) their relationships fall. If you're really not putting anything into a relationship, maybe you need to think about why that is and what you're going to do about it. If you are putting things into a relationship, but are reluctant to acknowledge that fact even to yourself, maybe you need to take a closer and more honest look at things, and give yourself permission to think about yourself as someone with something to add. This practice will let you consciously add things to your relationship, like offerings, which will promote and invoke/evoke the kind of relationship you actually want it to be.