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... but it looks like you're waiting for something."
This phrase from the Matrix has been running through my head for days now... it's actually starting to annoy me, but I think I finally get the relevance it has in my life at the moment:
I have a ton of projects that I'm working on. And frankly I have a problem with finishing the projects I start. I don't know why that is, exactly, but it's something that I've been trying to figure out and correct for quite some time now. I've tried figuring out if there's a pattern to what projects I do finish and what ones I don't, I've tried figuring out if there is a pattern to the behavior I use to avoid finishing certain projects, and I've tried figuring out if there is some psychological reason that I am avoiding my work on these projects. Ultimately? I think the problem is simply that I'm waiting. I want to write an essay on a subject I have some experience with... I decide I need to go do a ton of research because I don't feel qualified writing the essay... I end up researching it for months and months and never quite feeling like I'm ready to sit down and write it, always waiting for some feeling of readiness or adequacy that just isn't forthcoming.
I think I need to stop that... stop doubting myself or whatever it is that is making me wait... and just let myself work, and *know*... really know... that I am capable of working on and completing the projects that I start.
"Don't think you are. Know you are."
This phrase from the Matrix has been running through my head for days now... it's actually starting to annoy me, but I think I finally get the relevance it has in my life at the moment:
I have a ton of projects that I'm working on. And frankly I have a problem with finishing the projects I start. I don't know why that is, exactly, but it's something that I've been trying to figure out and correct for quite some time now. I've tried figuring out if there's a pattern to what projects I do finish and what ones I don't, I've tried figuring out if there is a pattern to the behavior I use to avoid finishing certain projects, and I've tried figuring out if there is some psychological reason that I am avoiding my work on these projects. Ultimately? I think the problem is simply that I'm waiting. I want to write an essay on a subject I have some experience with... I decide I need to go do a ton of research because I don't feel qualified writing the essay... I end up researching it for months and months and never quite feeling like I'm ready to sit down and write it, always waiting for some feeling of readiness or adequacy that just isn't forthcoming.
I think I need to stop that... stop doubting myself or whatever it is that is making me wait... and just let myself work, and *know*... really know... that I am capable of working on and completing the projects that I start.
"Don't think you are. Know you are."
