Damn it....

[jarandhel]

Yeah, so, all my plans just got blown to hell. So much for my ability to read the Flows. All the job openings in the world being available don't make one whit of difference at the moment. My mom just got the job in Minnesota.

Already my schedule is riddled with the results of that... tomorrow I have to go do banking and foodshopping for the household. Friday and Saturday I have to watch my grandmother while my father and mother go shopping for the things my mother will need. Sunday I might have free, but then on Monday at 5am I have to drive my mother to the airport. Then on Friday of that week I have to pick her up again. Then the monday after that I have to drive her to the airport once more to head back out there. Then my father has a doctor's appointment on the 23rd, and I have to pick her up from the airport again on the 25th. No clue when she goes out again, but probably that following monday, the same day my father has another doctor's appointment.

In the long term, as long as my mother works out at the position, she'll have a permanent job either in Minnesota or Ohio, and will be trying to sell the place here and move my grandmother and my father out there after one or two years. She's told me that I'm going to have a decision to make then of where I'm going.... but that's bullshit. I'm not going with them, the only other place I'll be going is to live with Dusk, and any choice I make needs to be made long before then and WORKED TOWARDS in the meantime. I can't put my life on hold for another one to two years because of this crap. I'm 22 years old, I'll be 23 in February, and I'll be damned if I haven't truly started my life at a point when it's a quarter past already.

Damn, I thought I was finally on the right track...

Comments

[rialian.livejournal.com]

===Actually, it sounds like EXACTLY the right track.

===You see, you do have a choice to make....you can look for work in areas closer to the areas you both could be, rather than in the area you are now.

===You have a choice to go looking for places in those areas so that you have YOUR OWN PLACE, and have gotten to live on your own for a bit before anything else.

===Sounds to me that you read the flows right...just had the flows adjust so that you might find yourself in the right place for all this to work out.

===Reframe the situation...and go from there.

[jarandhel.livejournal.com]

Maybe... right now things are really confusing. I had thought the flows were right to get a job here, since there were a ton of job openings in Mays Landing suddenly at a time when the economy sucks and there aren't a lot of openings elsewhere. And yes, moving out much sooner and getting a place of my own closer to Dusk is one option, but there are a lot of difficulties with that path, including how to find a way to get out of my current situation without burning bridges behind me. And of course, ever the one to take on responsibilities that really aren't mine, I worry about my father and grandmother's well-being if left to fend for themselves without me here to help out, since she is basically completely helpless and he can't drive and would still need to get to doctors appointments for himself and also wouldn't be able to watch her at the same time.

I am thinking, strongly, of approaching my parents in a few days, once things are calmer and I have thought the situation through more thoroughly, and telling them in no uncertain terms that I will not be making myself available to help meet their needs for an indefinate period over the next one to two years... that, although I am willing to help them out somewhat it will need to be kept to a *reasonable* level which will allow me to continue working *actively* towards a life of my own in the near future, and that they will *have* to begin making arrangements to meet their needs and my grandmother's without relying on me as the means to do that. I realize that there's an element of risk to approaching my parents like that, but I feel that it is fairly small since my mother has already been expressing guilt about relying on my so heavily and also since they really do feel that they need me at this time and thus would not be likely to cut me off and spite themselves.

[rialian.livejournal.com]

===Sometimes the first openings are near you....think first thaw.

===Not the best thing to get into...the area that opens in the near lands. Go for an area that is going to be open in a more hopefull area.

[dogemperor.livejournal.com]

*nods* Da Ri has a point here, Jarin.

Firstly, the first thing that comes along isn't always the best thing.

Secondly, things could be getting shaped up more towards you and Dusk being together...reading flows that far ahead gets tricky, as between here and then things can get wobbly...but I think things will sort out in the end.

And Jarin, don't feel guilty over looking out for yerself. You've got to after a point, really...it's called setting boundaries. Trust me--that's something *I* am still learning about...

Also, you've got a head start I didn't have when I finally got out (when I was almost 26, yet, from my lovely shithole of a domestic situation)--you've a car, and you've at least *some* RL work experience, even some freelance experience. I had Jack and Shit, and am pretty much starting with almost a third to a half of the time gone (thank the gods I've been able to land govmint work, or I'd REALLY be fucked, hehe)...but you will make it, and things WILL sort out.

*hugs*

[dancinglights.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, 22 and 23. I predict for you a winter much like my last one.. things completely and sometimes unexpectedly falling apart and into place and you'll have a wonderful time once it all settles. Go for the move... sometimes the bottom falls out of things you need to get out of already, just to make you do it before it's too late. Then again, it sounds like you just made up your mind. Sounds like the right track to me :)

*many wishes, hugs, and support as it all plays out*

Of course, I could just be speaking out of my ass, I'm not you, etc, etc.

Listen To Ri

[kinjouten.livejournal.com]

And a couple of tidbits of my own...

Your parents are insane if they expect you to be at their beck and call for an indefinite period of YEARS. That's just off the fucking wall. Get *any* job you can, and start putting money away. If they balk, then make arrangements to leave. Nice for your mom that *she* will be getting the benifits of the deal. :/

You're their son, not the live-in help, and they needed to start thinking about your future a long time ago.

Let me know if there's anything I can do.