Irony

Maybe it's just me, but is it extremely ironic that, while I'm reading this book on abuse and taking literally hundreds of notes, all for my cult awareness project, the section I didn't take any notes at all from was the one on cults? The information there was focussing on a very narrow definition of cult, where the leader is basically regarded as God or an emissary thereof. For that type of cult, the things she said were quite valid, but it was too narrow for the spectrum of cults that I am trying to cover in my research. The rest of the information in the book has been extremely helpful and informative, though.... *grins* Almost done this book, then I can get onto some others that hopefully won't use as much specialized terminology, so I can move faster... this book has been taking me forever to get through. (The author invented a lot of short terms for complicated concepts, which probably made explaining things to the reader easier for her but also makes understanding what she means and taking concise notes on the subject a bit harder.)

Something Odd

There's something about myself that I don't really understand... thought I'd write it down here, put it into words and maybe figure it out. The more I read about abuse and cults, the more I see where HOPE went wrong. I can also see how they might have gone about achieving their initially stated goals in a positive manner. Part of me would like to make a new group and do that. But I know, even done right this time, that such a group is unneeded. There would be no point or purpose to it. I guess I just feel an urge to do it because I'd be proving to myself that I could do it right, and that'd help give me back some of the confidence in myself that I still feel is lost to me, because I don't entirely trust myself after helping to create the cult HOPE became.

*shrugs* It's something I'll work through, in time. :)