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January 30th, 2008

jarandhel: (Default)
Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 01:25 am
Does anyone else find that they are regularly triggered into the nearcompletely obsessive study of a particular subject, even when many other such "projects" are waiting in the wings for their own turn at monopolizing your attention? I feel like this all the time, and the number of subjects I feel absolutely compelled to study and/or write about (among other things) keeps climbing, to the point where the feelings it induces could readily be compared with the members of a multiple system jostling for front. Attempts to prioritize feel, short of strong external stimulus or other external justification, akin to asking me to pick my favorite limb. I pride myself on being a generalist, a renaissance man, someone who at least attempts to master many arts... but at this point I truly do not know how I will juggle many more of these things I euphemistically call my "projects". Already, I have more than enough to last me the rest of this lifetime. I will never do even half of what I would like to do in these fields before I die. And yet, I cannot find a way to stop or even slow the accumulation of these preoccupations, even though it has already reached the point where one of the reasons I so seldom read fiction anymore is that I just do not have the time. There is always too much else to do, whether I am working at my livelihood or working at my compulsions. Always. And more so with every passing day.